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Parents Talk: At What Age is Bed-Wetting Considered "Normal?"

In this week's installment of Parents Talk, we ask parents for a little reassurance - is it normal for a child to still be wetting the bed at age 5?

 

Parents Talk is a weekly feature on Patch where we reach out to those moms, dads, grandparents, etc. looking for a resources and information (or maybe just a sounding board) to talk about parenting. We invite and encourage you to tell your friends about Parents Talk, too. After all, we can’t build a community without your help. We hope that you will contribute your ideas, questions, anecdotes and advice to other parents in your hometown.

In the coming months, we will also be organizing a Parents Council that will help answer some of your questions and offer practical, real world solutions. The council will consist of experts (i.e. other parents) who can speak firsthand about everything from potty training to the best pediatricians to surviving driver’s education with a teenager.

We hope you’ll use Parents Talk as one of the many resources you can find for raising happy, healthy children.

Please take a moment to weigh in with your comments below.

This week's discussion topic:

I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend about something I've often wondered myself - at what age is it normal for a child to still wet the bed? Her son, who is almost 5, is using the potty during the day but is rarely waking up dry overnight. My daughter, who is also 5, has the same problem.

Every indication from our pediatrician says this is normal behavior and that every child develops at his/her own pace. I understand that but sometimes it's more reassuring knowing that there are other people in a similar situation.

So, fess up, at what age did your son/daughter finally stop wetting the bed? Am I crazy to think a 5 year-old should be accident-free, especially overnight?

Sarah Lacey November 7, 2011 at 01:25 pm
Our girls were dry overnight as soon as they were potty trained at age 3, not one accident ever! Our son (age 3), is not staying consistently dry overnight. He wakes up to pee during the night at least once. When he is really tired or hasn't napped, we can assume he will wet the bed because he is so tired he will sleep through the feeling of needing to get up and go. These nights, we try to put him in a pull-up, but he hates them. We usually try to just wake him before we go to bed, groggily put him on the potty, and let him go. Seems to work.
I think that it's correct to say that all kids develop at different rates regarding this issue, so I wouldn't worry about it too much at a young age. If it was an older child, especially as it may present a social embarrassment issue, I would ask the doctor and see if there was anything going on.
Jody Gifford (Editor) November 7, 2011 at 01:32 pm
This is one of those things that I think can make a mom feel like a bad parent especially if you have more than one child. I have three kids - 5, 3 and 3 - and only one of the three is completely potty-trained and she's not even the oldest. It's so frustrating because every child does things on their own timeline. If you hear from someone else that their same age child is doing something when yours is not, you feel like you somehow failed. It's such an irrational thought but it's one I think is so typical among parents. You just have to remember, when you're washing sheets for the fifth time in a week, that eventually they will grow out of it. Eventually.
Shelly Hughes November 7, 2011 at 01:38 pm
I think we as parents worry too much, myself included. We worry that they're not walking soon enough, or talking enough, or learning their abc's, potty-training, eating enough, behaving like they should, etc. EVERY child is different, and every child will develop things in their due time. I am so guilty of wanting to make them grow up and behave so much, then wonder where my little one went?
Regarding bedwetting; try to limit their drinks at night, make them comfortable (there are 'cool' pull-ups for big kids - because apparently there are more than just your child in this situation!), and stop worrying so much, that will only make everyone more stressed about the situation. Kids that age are so embarrassed, we don't need to make it worse. Saw this one Facebook the other day - I think it's worth repeating! (I think I may need to tattoo this on my arm or something!) How to Really Love a Child... Be there. Say YES as often as you can. Let them bang on pots and pans. If they're crabby, put them in water. Read books out loud with joy. Go find elephants and kiss them. Encourage silly. Giggle a lot. Remember how really small they are. Search out the positive. Keep the gleam in your eye. Go see a movie in your pajamas. Teach feelings. Realize how important it is to be a child. Plan to build a rocketship. Stop yelling. Invent pleasures together. Surprise them. Express your love. A lot. Children are miraculous.
Anne Carothers-Kay November 7, 2011 at 01:47 pm
One of my kids wet the bed until age 5 or 6. What helped was an electronic pad that we put under the sheet. When it starts to get wet, it sets off an alarm, waking up the child. It helps train the child to wake up when they start to urinate. It took awhile, but it worked for us.
Emily C November 7, 2011 at 04:40 pm
That's great, Shelly! Lots of good things to remember there. While I'm doing laundry. Again.
Kara Ballinger Tentinger November 7, 2011 at 09:24 pm
I have 3 children. By some miracle, the 2 girls were trained - accident free - between 2 1/2 and 3. HOWEVER, the story is different with my 4 1/2 year old son. He was potty-trained just after his 3rd birthday, but he wets in his pull-up nearly EVERY night! The pull-up is not enough to contain it and I am changing sheets constantly. He doesn't have any accidents while awake and he is not peeing in his bed intentionally. He just doesn't wake up. I was worried that this is going on too long, but my pediatrician also said that it is normal and he might continue to do it for a few more years! I'm concerned about sleepovers when he is older. The pediatrician did mention that there is medication that could be given for a day that was very important that he not wet himself. I am hoping that he stops before we would feel the need to consider that.
I guess we need to be patient and wait it out, but dealing with urine-soaked sheets, underwear, and pajamas at 2am is getting a little old! I agree with trying not to worry. Some day I bet I will look back and yearn for the days that I was dealing with little pull-ups. All kids grow and learn in different ways and at different paces, but they all turn into smart and capable little people! I think I need to check out the electronic pad that Anne mentioned!
Shelly Hughes November 8, 2011 at 01:08 am
Kara --
For now I would try Huggies Overnights, size 6 - our older son had to wear those because he too would leak right through anything! It's worth a try and might give you a little more sleep! Good luck! Shelly
Carrie November 9, 2011 at 04:14 pm
Im really starting to worry about my son he's going to be 9 soon and he still wets the bed every night. I took him to see the doctor and ask if this was normal and all I got from her was make him change his own bed to make him take responsability for what he did. I don't believe he is doing his on purpose because he don't seem to wake up. If anyone knows what I can do to help him please let me know.
Vance December 27, 2011 at 05:45 am
The untold truth is that bedwetting or nocturnal enuresis is most often [outside of other health issues] an inherited condition of delayed development meaning that it typically runs in the family and 'normal' is only relative to well, the relatives.
If other relatives in the family were bedwetters, then the relatives should be fessing up and helping the child cope instead of ganging up on the child to deliver cruel punishment for a supposed crime that the child cannot even control on his/her own. Get the kid some nighttime diapers and be patient while the body learns to communicate within itself. Shame and embarrassment need not apply.

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